On The Lighter Side: A Quest For The *Internet Secret*

Copyright 2002 Joshua Rose

Indiana Jones' quest for "The Holy Grail" wasn't exactly a
cakewalk. Spiders, snakes, bad guys and a multitude of other
nasty obstacles plagued his every step.

What I have planned ought to be a piece of cake by comparison.
You see, I'm off to find the *Internet Secret*. In effect, The
Holy Grail of easy, web-based wealth and success.

Nope, this shouldn't be difficult at all. Probably won't even
break a sweat. At least I won't hurt myself, I think.

Gonna make some notes on the journey too, so when I find the
*secret*, I'll know how to get there again, just in case I can't
take it with me (I learned this from Indy).

Okay, I'm off, whip in hand, just to be on the safe side.

***Hmmm ... an attractive, well organized, carefully written
website. Well, that sounds a little difficult, but if that's all
there is to it ... well, I'll manage it.

***Oh, there's more. Here's something else ... targeted traffic.
Yeah, makes sense. Identify potential customers and learn where
they hang out on the net. Sort of like going to the local pub?
Noooo problemo. Add it to the list.

***What's this? Compelling ad copy? Well, how hard can that be?
I watch TV. Let's write that down.

***Now wait just a doggone minute! Write an Ezine? Now don't
tell me that's not work! I know work when I see it! Scratch
that out. Let's move on.

***"Get A Million Gazillion And Thirteen Visitors FREE!" Now
that's more like it. Now we're getting somewhere. Write that

***Search engines? Geez, there's spiders here too! Who knew?
And they're smart, evolving and unpredictable? Now that sounds
dangerous! Outta here!

***Write articles. What's with all this writing stuff? Articles?
Ad copy? Websites? Ezines? Reports? Hey, don't they know I'm
busy? Next.

***Relationship marketing. Oh? Back to the pub again. Write
that down.

***Open rates, conversion ratio's, CPM's. What the heck? Math
too? Yeah, right. Next stop.

***Build opt-in list for the long term. Long term? Sorry, rents
due on Tuesday. Bye!

***"Men, Enlarge Yo ...!" Ooops. Off topic. But ... write that

***Make time to help others in market specific forums. Didn't
you hear me the first time? I said, "Tuesday"!

***"Turn $25 Into $10,000 While You're In the Shower!".
Whoa! This could be it! Note: "Fix shower!"

***Give away something valuable, free. Oh, that's precious.
Bound to be very impressive down at the bank too. Next!

***Viral marketing? You've got to be kidding! If you think I'm
gonna be sitting here while I'm sniffling, sneezing and feeling
achy all over, I've got news for you!

Whew! This is a little tiring after all. Time for a break.

Holy guacamole! Look at my mailbox! Boy, did I get popular!
And how did they know I was looking for the Internet Secret?
Wonderful, 347 messages telling me they've had it the whole

Piece of cake. Eat your heart out, Indy.

Author's note: Perhaps the real *internet secret* consists of
many, many *little secrets*, or marketing tasks. Dozens upon
dozens, in fact, that aren't really secrets at all. Some as
simple as a signature file. Others as demanding as publishing
a newsletter.

Do a handfull of them well, and the progess begins. Consistently
add new *secrets* to your marketing arsenal, and the sky's the


Joshua Rose cuts through the glut of Internet "hype" and "false promises" to identify the "genuine" marketing techniques that are REALLY getting the results. For more "work smart" techniques, or to subscribe to his newsletter, visit: http://www.internetprofitwizards.com

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